Thursday, January 19, 2012

8/9 days, who's counting

It's been 8 or 9 days since I have given up Diet Coke. My outlook on life has changed. Changed for the better. I have started to eat a little better, as my boyfriend, or the man in my life would tell me "pace yourself". My goal is to be healthy again. To alleviate some of my back pain and to be able to run with my little boy. I also want to look smokin hot for my cousins wedding. I want to show up in a jaw dropping piece!!
I have also looked closer at things in my life. I am a single mom to a 3 1/2 year old gorgeous and handsome boy, J. His father is in his life at his convenience. This year I am changing that. He has not paid ONE penny in child support for almost 4 years!!!! FOUR LONG YEARS!!! Yea, $50.00 might not be much, but it's better than NOTHING. I DON'T understand it. This man also owes me restitution. He's never been held accountable for it, and I have decided tomorrow he WILL be held responsible. I am heading down to child support and restitution offices to demand an answer. I might have to get a little angry. I NEVER imagined I would be a single mom and know my son deserves better.
My life is NO WHERE where I imagined it when I was little. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or party anymore and my life is a mess right now. Yet, when I did drink, smoke, do drugs and party I had it together more than I do now. I don't get it. I thought it was supposed to be the opposite way. I guess one day I will look back and know why I went through all of this shit.
Tonight was a bad night. J's "dad" played a very cruel trick on my son and a friend gave me some insight. I burst into more tears. How COULD a grown 40 year old man be SO DAMN cruel INTENTIONALLY to a 3 1/2 year old????? After what was said, J just rolled over and fell asleep. This made me so mad. HOW DARE SOMEONE MESS WITH MY SON? Better yet, HIS "SON" too? I DON'T get it. It makes me so sad and hurt.
This blog hopefully will be my vent. Come along for the ride if you want...leave feedback and join me as I become a whole new mom. Physically, mentally and emotionally!

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